December 13, 2010

And the Walls Close In On Christmas...

Always an interesting discussion.  And I usually lose a few people along the way, each and every year.

Ahh, yes... those damn immigrants again.

Sometimes it is okay to say that you don't have the answers.  Sometimes, it is the least damaging and most honest answer you can give.

It is always a fantastic discussion.  Anyone have anything to add?
I am interested in hearing from all of you on this one.

Oh, yes.  Mike had something to add:

December 10, 2010

Aaron Sorkin stars in 'In Her Defense, I'm Sure the Moose Had it Coming.'

"Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation."

You're right, Sarah, we'll all just go fuck ourselves now.
The snotty quote was posted by Sarah Palin on (like all the great frontier women who've come before her) her Facebook page to respond to the criticism she knew and hoped would be coming after she hunted, killed and carved up a Caribou during a segment of her truly awful reality show, Sarah Palin's Alaska, broadcast on The-Now-Hilariously-Titled Learning Channel.
I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it's hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don't think it is, and here's why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don't watch snuff films and you make them.  
You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I've tried and tried and for the life of me, I can't make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing.
 I'm able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shitheads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face.

So I don't think I will save my condemnation, you phony pioneer girl. (I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was.)

And you didn't just do it for fun and you didn't just do it for money. That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully. What a uniter you'd be — bringing the right together with the far right.

(Let me be the first to say that I abused cocaine and was arrested for it in April 2001. I want to be the first to say it so that when Palin's Army of Arrogant Assholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal, write it all over the internet tomorrow they will at best be the second.)  

I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, Sarah Palin is deranged and The Learning Channel should be ashamed of itself.

December 5, 2010

It's December 5th and You Should Be Knee-Deep in Christmas Movies By Now.

I’m sure you know most of these but here are my picks for Christmas movie entertainment….

A Christmas Story

No Christmas would ever be complete without a 24 hr Christmas Story marathon.  I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you this.  The movie was made in 1983 which means it’s closing in on 30 years. What I find so fascinating is that every year I do, in fact, tune in at least 3-5 times a day to watch certain scenes.  True story.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

It’s just an all around classic and a must see for me.


What holiday would be complete without a little bit of Bill Murray to make you feel happy?  I particularly like the fact that Buster Poindexter is the Ghost of Christmas past and the dude from Dynasty plays Bill Murray’s old boss.  You got Carol Kane and, hell, even Bill Murray’s brothers are in the film.

It’s a Wonderful Life

Come on.  It’s a given.

Bad Santa

Honestly, I could watch this movie at any time of year.  It really doesn’t matter.  It might be in my top 10 funniest movies of all time.   I know that’s a bold statement, but Billy Bob as an alcoholic, depressed, store robbing Santa is one of the greatest characters ever created.  Plus the little overweight kid with the red hair is easily one of my favorite supporting characters of all time: “It’s a wooden pickle.”


Will Ferrell at his best.  I watch it every year.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

 This made for TV movie was absolutely awesome and even in this technological age it still holds up as a classic.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

I bought the soundtrack, I have the tree ornament that plays dialogue, I have the Charlie Brown Christmas tree up in the living room... I love all Peanuts, all the time.
But especially at Christmas.

I was just alerted by the love of my life that I have forgotten one...

Die Hard

December 3, 2010

William Campbell Really is Dead?

I had a watch of this movie in the hopes of learning all the information concerning the conspiracy clues. I have a sick love for them  I was very disappointed to find that the producers hadn’t really attempted to do their homework first.  At all.  You can get a more accurate version of the conspiracy from a simple Google search. The whole movie was clearly written and produced by people who haven’t got a clue about The Beatles history or time-line.  A great bunch of drama and scary theorizations, but ultimately hokum.

Everything was based on American record releases, ignoring facts that some songs were actually written before the alleged date of the alleged fatal accident. But the real give-away was when fake George, who I shall refer to as Feorge, tells us that Rita the Hitch-hiker who caused Paul to crash his car was given a new identity and a big payout to remain quiet, only to turn up years later as Heather Mills. The reason Heather had lost her leg was because the powers that be, in an attempt to keep her quiet, tried to have her killed by running her over in traffic, apparently by the same powers that be that organised John Lennon’s assassination. But what Feorge fails to mention is that Rita accidentally caused Paul’s death, a good two years before Heather Mills was even born.


Towards the end of the film there were some very obviously photo-shopped images of Faul with a very enlarged nose and buck teeth, and some video footage of Harrison being interviewed on Australian television, clearly saying Faul (Fake Paul) instead of Paul. YouTube has the unedited version of this interview and in real life Harrison has a most distinctively pronounced P for every mention of Paul’s name. There... I have just officailly done a better fact-checking job than the God damned director.
Had this been a documentary on the hoax, and one that stuck to the theory as it had stood, this would have been an enjoyable discussion of the conspiracy theories. Marketed as Harrison’s last testament, and very badly narrated by someone who was so obviously reading a script, it’s not even a good hoax in its own right.
Of course it is partially true….Paul has been musically dead for decades.

November 23, 2010

"Do it over, do it right... do it again and again... sometimes you just have to dance naked in the rain..."

A lot of people think that if they could mix and match characteristics and traits from all of their previous relationships, just cherry pick their favorite things about each person that they’ve been with, that they could create the ideal mate. She would have this one’s sense of humor, and that one’s body, and this one’s face, and that one’s career, and this one’s fashion sense, and that one’s parents, and this one’s apartment, and that one’s political views, and on and on until I had the girl of my dreams. But there are two problems with this plan, in addition to the fact that the technology just isn’t there (yet) to make it realistic. First of all, it overlooks the excitement and unpredictability of meeting someone wholly new and learning about them. And second of all, what if it turns out that there’s something you’d really be into that you didn’t even know was an option? Like maybe it turns out you’re really into middle-aged women who spin around in circles with a video camera and recite horrible, awful poetry about dancing naked in the rain?

Prepare to fall in love.

People Still Dig Christmas, Right?

I mean, I know the "sanctity" of it has been diluted, neglected, and washboarded into a marketing nightmare, but still... people make the most of it, yes?

I have never been religious enough to consider it Jesus' birthday, and if I was I would no doubt still realize his birthday was in August.  I do not have childen to keep the illusion alive for.  My family probably finds me the exhausting one; no keeping up appearances for their sake.  It is just for me.  I love it and force those around me to as well, lest they kill me in my sleep.
I just enjoy being able to have a reason to be blissfully indulgent.  Indulgent in food, drink, appreciation, gifts (giving and receiving), friendships, generosity, etc.
It is like spring break but with snow.
And it is a great way to end a year and start another... with new stuff and a reason to go to the gym again.

Anyway, I already have the decorations up, the baking planned, the movies cued, and the parties marked on the calender.  If you need a bit of the cheesy Christmas spirit, you know where to find me.

P.S.  Watch Modern Family if you are not already.

November 11, 2010


This is for you, Shawn...

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, "Aren't those gourds straining your neck?" And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you're not."
Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn't it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that's upsetting, but I'm not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.
The next thing I'm going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it's not summer, it's not winter, and it's not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it's fall, fuckers.
Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you're going to fucking love my house. Just look where you're walking or you'll get KO'd by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you're going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.
For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.
Welcome to autumn, fuckheads! 

-Colin Nissan

November 8, 2010

Prolly is Not Probably.

I understand internet slang.  I abhor it, but I get it.
If you are a fifteen year old who texts 1500 times a day, you have to cut shit down a bit.
And yes, it is turning our teen generation into illiterate punks, but that isn't the point of this particular rant.
I just can't stand it when people use, and at some points even SAY, "prolly".

"Shannon is prolly just in the shower..."

"You're an idiot."

November 7, 2010

Ari Doesn't Take Sundays Off.

Do Conservatives/ Republicans just blame everything they don't like on the Democrats?  I mean, this just sounds RIDICULOUSLY catty.  A comment from one of his subscribers:
"It's the product of the hideous and idiotic designer, Narcisco Rodriguez who makes shit out of tin foil and the liberals adore him."   
How is this a LIBERAL decision?  Maybe she just liked the dress...  Oh, forget it.

I watched this video.  It is of a middle eastern father recording his daughter naming numerous country's capitals.  Like most dads, he is most likely proud of how smart his little girl is.  And now, while calling THEM terrorists, Ari has posted this video and spoken about how they deserve to be "eradicated".  No peace.  


Because THEY are the violent, unreasonable monsters.

I really hope it occurs to them sooner rather than later that this attitude is just creating more terrorists...

November 2, 2010

Little Bee's Christmas List 2010.

I know it's early... wanna fight about it?
Here is my wish list for Christmas this year, but feel free to also use it for possible ideas for family and friends.  I can't be the only one who loves this stuff...
An e-reader that is compatible with any and all ebook libraries.  Not back-lit, small in size (weighs 8 ounces and can fit in any handbag), and holds 1000+ books.  Also has a USB port so you and your Kobo buddies can pass books around.  Gave one as a gift.  It's so awesome now I want one.

EARTH (book)
Jon Stewart is Most Influential Man of the Year for a reason.
I have a decanter but since Greg doesn't drink wine, sometimes an entire bottle to myself on a Tuesday is a bit much. This will allow me to drink a glass or two and not have to dump the whole bottle.
My last one died and now we are forced to played DVDs on the laptop when cooking experimental dishes and making a mess in there.
It's just not the same.
My other 2 are now at max capacity and if I don't get another, I will start freaking out because I am missing a ton of podcasts and Marc Maron is putting them up there like gangbusters.  Luckily, Greg should have this one covered... AHEM.
Really, ANYTHING from Saje would be divine.  Their essential oil blends are incredible.  I have been hooked on their products since I was 17 and learning about aromatherapy.
There are new vegetable oil candles at Lush right now. 
Soy candles do not create soot, they use no petroleum bi-products, and if they spill or drip on anything the only thing you need to do to wipe it off is get it warm again.  They are great.  Also, for people with sensitive lungs, they won't trigger any inflammation or cause toxins in the air.  Obviously important around our house.

Will Update Soon...

November 1, 2010

Ari of the Day.

It's like that, is it?


Email Regarding Cesar Millan's Book Tour... Yikes.

"I went and SAW Cesar's "show" last night in Victoria, BC and I will be SHOCKED if I am the first person to write you in regards to that garbage. For the entire last half of the seminar I was composing this email to you in my head in complete ANGER. The first half started out fine... he was charming and funny and me and my sister decided we didn't CARE if you were right and he was a prick we loved him anyways....

THEN he kicked off the second half after intermission by comparing dogs to women in third world countries. Not even kidding you. You see Lainey, dogs today have too much food and affection. They are fat and loved but they have no discipline and exercise and therefore are unhappy.... women in third world countries, well they have no food and no affection but plenty of discipline and exercise and they are unhappy too. You see? Dogs and women need food, love, discipline and exercise, all FOUR....just imagine if you tried to tell a woman to go to the gym... you have to TRICK them into doing it HAR HAR HAR... just like dogs. The arena went SILENT. This comparison carried on for about 5 minutes while he tried to dig himself out. It didn't work and he has lost me and I HOPE any other woman in that arena at that point.

The show went downhill pretty quickly from that point on. Some other points of disbelief and total stupidity included:

* Asking an audience member who adopted her dog from Kuwait if that was a place in Victoria
* Not understanding that Victoria was a City in a PROVINCE IN CANADA and not Canada in its entirety
* Many, many, Many "Jokes" regarding his illegal boarder jumping to America, immigration and Tacos
* The show in its entirety being laced with American jabs. The fat people, too stupid to walk a dog, the only race to elect and re-elect and follow an unstable "pack leader"

I can't WAIT until he brings this garbage to the States. I recognize that we as Canadians are probably to polite to boo him off the stage but I hope that SOMEONE WILL. He actually had a perfect analogy for it... The reason the little dogs think they are bigger and better than everyone else at the dog park is because they live in the arms of their master, at eye level, taller than all the other dogs. That's Cesar in a nut shell... being carried around on top of his fame and money and thinking he is better than everyone else. It is disgusting.

That is 3 hours and 70 dollars of my life I will never get back!"

October 29, 2010

More Examples of the World that Republicans Wish to Live in...

Good LORD.

And here, another comedian friend Jimmy, puts Ari & Friends in their place...

Sometimes people are able to give a different opinion, but they don't seem to last long.  Here, Ari decided that a rally's littering was a direct result of their being socialists.  so, clearly, the message is that Liberals don't give a shit about their country:

I get to read shit like this almost daily:

Shawn will especially enjoy that last one.
Perhaps it is bad for for me to post these discussions in my blog, but he is a very obtuse anti-gay, anti-Muslim, anti-liberal-in-any-way Republican; he loves discourse or he wouldn't bother with facebook at all.  I haven't even seen a posting of a comedy show or promo for anything related to his career or personal life at all.  All I have seen is political banter.

So I would like to think that, in the same fashion, he would approve of me doing that as well.

Restoring Sanity and my One Republican friend.

So, I think it's pretty obvious that I am not a Republican. 
For one, I am Canadian, but I am also leaning way too far to the left for people to even consider I might be conservative.

But I have a Republican comedian friend on my Facebook friend list, and even if his views (which are, surprisingly, not humourous at all) can be cruel and heartless and slanderous, I keep him on my homefeed and read his opinions daily.


Because I have to know what the other guys are thinking.

They have threatened to burn Muslims at the cross, sterilize gay rights activists, and... I shit you not... poison teenagers who claim to be Democrats.  It is unyielding hatred for "the other side" and I have a hard time reading it all, but I have to.  I have to know what they believe and how they came to be so angry and so defiant of others' will.

I will document some of it so that you can all read it here and perhaps we can discuss why it is that these people have come to be so bloody in their battles.

Today's debate was over this Funny or Die video...

Their comments, so far, are in these screen shots.  Also, it was only 9:30am.  We've barely even begun scratching the surface of comments to this...

And they are upset at the actors being juvenile?  I'll keep you posted...

October 21, 2010

Ballprints in the Butter...

"You know what it’s like when you come home from work and you’re still upset about that whole thing with Jenkins after lunch when he was trying to horn in on your ideas and you were all “Jenkins, what the f*ck?” and Jenkins gave you that goddamn smug smile that makes him look like a rat and if Mr. Avery wasn’t there you would have smacked his smart mouth with a stapler, but all you could do was try to sound smarter than the little bitch and it irked you the whole day? And then on the drive home you got stuck at that red light next to the bar where all the tranny hookers hang out, and the red lasts literally five minutes, so for five minutes you just had to sit there trying to ignore the three trannies who were asking if you wanted to taste some cock candy? And then you finally get home and all you want is to have a drink and make a sandwich and then you go into the fridge and there’s no beer left and the only Coke is already open, and the cheese was left unwrapped so it got that dark, chunky crust buildup that you hate, and when you grabbed the butter you could swear there was a perfect impression of a waxed scrotum in there, detailed wrinkles and all? That doesn’t happen by accident."

October 20, 2010

"Top Homos."

On the front page of a Ugandan newspaper, the country's 100 "top" homosexuals were listed, along with a bright yellow banner that reads, "Hang Them."
It also includes a photo and their addresses.

Four men have been attacked since the paper was published and many others are now in hiding. But this is not new for the conservative African country. A lawmaker introduced a bill last year that would have imposed the death penalty or life in prison for homosexual acts.

Gays in Uganda have suffered harassment and attacks since the bill was introduced. It follows a visit by leaders of U.S. conservative Christian ministries that promote therapy to turn gay people straight.

Ugandan citizen Patrick Ndede:
"Before the introduction of the bill in parliament most people did not mind about our activities. But since then, we are harassed by many people who hate homosexuality. The publicity the bill got made many people come to know about us and they started mistreating us."
Over the last year, 20 gay men have been attacked in Uganda, while another 17 have been arrested or put in prison.

October 19, 2010

M.I.A. IS A FAKE: Some Thoughts on Authenticity, Politics, and Truffle Oil.

So, this morning I happened upon the CBC video page to listen to Jian Ghomeshi talk to M.I.A. about her third album that dropped in July.  July.  I totally forgot about it.  But I didn't forget about that one scathing interview that ran in the New York Times in May.

That piece: It got under my skin. It disturbed me, in many visceral and icky ways. 
It seemed, to me, exemplary of the ways and means by which women who use their voices politically are knocked down, knocked over, and fucked up for the public’s entertainment. 
And people liked it. People I like, people I admire, at least one person I’m particularly close to: They responded, joined in the group-kick, were eager to denounce M.I.A. as a liar and a fake and a fraud and a bitch and a bad activist. 
And over what? Over passages like this:
Unity holds no allure for Maya — she thrives on conflict, real or imagined. “I kind of want to be an outsider,” she said, eating a truffle-flavored French fry.
The fact is, valuable things were uncovered in that piece. M.I.A. has been inconsistent, and misleading, about her father’s involvement with the Tamil Tigers. And I appreciated that voices other than M.I.A.’s were given the chance to speak out, in a widely read forum, about Sri Lankan politics and the Tigers; the allegation that she’s being overly and dangerously simplistic, in her unconditional support of the Tigers, is probably true. What I don’t appreciate, however, is the fact that these things were only brought up as a means of destroying M.I.A.’s political credibility — shortly before attacking her credibility on more or less every other front.

M.I.A. is a fake, the article more or less says; no matter what she says or writes or records about global capitalism being a bad thing, no matter how fiercely she would seem to defend marginalized people, she’s just a shallow, narcissistic, bossy, stupid woman who only wants your attention, only wants to be famous, only wants to be a star. 
And did you hear that she was having contractions when she sang “Paper Planes” at the Grammys? Shocking! Provocative! Fame-whorey! Regular-whorey! Unfeminine! Selfish! Bad mother!

Although her publicist had a wheelchair ready and a midwife on call, Maya, who has a deep and instinctive affinity for the provocative, knew that this Grammy moment was not to be missed. It had everything: artistic credibility, high drama, a massive audience. The baby would just have to wait. The combination of being nearly naked, hugely pregnant, singing incendiary lyrics and having the eyes of the world upon her was too much to resist.
Granted, there are a few common-sense things to be pointed out here: That it’s not unusual for women to work throughout their pregnancies, that lots of women go to work on the day that they’re scheduled to go into labor, that labor itself is a long process (the profile even notes that M.I.A.’s son wasn’t born until three days after the performance) and so many women often continue to work throughout the early stages of labor, especially if they’re doing something important or time-sensitive that can’t be re-scheduled — like, say, performing at the Grammys. Or, for that matter, the fact that implying that a woman ought to neglect her job because she’s knocked up is the flip-side of the rationale that says it’s okay to not hire or promote women because they will have to neglect their jobs once they get knocked up. 
But never mind all that: I mean, the wheelchair was right there, but instead M.I.A. was up on stage, almost naked, singing her violent lyrics about murdering people, because she cares more about performing and being famous than she does about her poor little helpless baby boy. What a monster.

In fact, the same common-sense issues keep cropping up, as you read the article. For example: Is it really that surprising that a performer, signed to a major label, wants attention? Is it surprising or exceptional that such a person has money? Is it surprising that a person subjected to constant scrutiny from millions of people has crafted a public face, a version of herself that she puts on when she’s being observed by strangers that is noticeably different and more suited to mass consumption than the one she wears when she’s alone, or with her husband and child, or with her best friends? And: If you were trying to get attention at all costs, if you were coming up with a fake personality that was guaranteed to garner acceptance and approval from the largest possible number of people, would “radical woman of color allied with militant groups” really be the one you’d pick? Because I can think of a ton of more palatable personas. I really can. In fact, it seems to me that M.I.A.’s radicalism — which is pretty much guaranteed to earn her much blowback, from many different people, at many points along the line — might be something that she does because she cares about it. It might just, conceivably, be for real. Because I imagine that it’s a fuck of a lot harder to live with than many of her other options.

But not according to the profile. The profile presents a series of choices, a standard of purity, which almost invariably excludes and diminishes the perspective of the woman it claims to be telling us about. I always read M.I.A.’s Grammy performance as a goddamn beautiful piece of synthesis: half-naked, hardcore, and pregnant, telling the world that she could function as a sexual person, as a political person, as a mother, and as someone who was better at her job than anyone else. She wasn’t giving up anything; she didn’t have to; she could be all of it, at once. But no, she can’t, says the article: She had to make a choice, and she made the wrong one, the bad one, the one that makes her a bad woman. I read M.I.A. as a person in a difficult and contradictory position: Someone who’s come into a huge amount of privilege, after growing up without it, someone who’s benefiting from the very system she condemns, and is attempting to use her position of power to bring attention to the problem. But the article says there is no contradiction: She’s privileged, full stop, and as such is a hypocrite if she even attempts to care or speak about people who are in her former position. 
As the sub-hed apparently runs: “Is the Sri Lankan musician’s political rap more than just radical chic?” You never ask that sort of question if you want your audience to answer “yes.”

If it’s okay to do this to M.I.A., it’s okay to do this to anyone. And the good news is, you basically could do it to anyone. Speaking out about politics is tricky; as anyone with even marginal self-awareness knows, it requires you to be more or less constantly opining on morals and an ideal future world, while also being a person with moral failings (I have them, God knows) who has made plenty of compromises or choices about how to live in the world as it presently exists. Hence, my flip-the-fuck-outery over being interviewed; being regarded as an authority is a little hard to take, given how familiar I am with my own imperfections. But lots of people on this here planet are privileged in one way or another, including people who speak out against privilege. Lots of people are inconsistent, incapable of being hardcore moral vegans at all times; pretty much everyone has unpleasant aspects to her personality. 
If we make personal perfection a prerequisite for speaking out, the result will be silence. It simply will be. There will be one woman, living alone and off-the-grid in a yurt, eating nothing but pickles, interacting with no-one but the squirrels, who walks out to her favorite pooping tree every morning and delivers a brief monologue to it about social justice. She will be the Perfect One, the Chosen One; she will be allowed to speak. And it won’t be a problem. Largely because no-one will actually hear her.
I learned … years ago that women had always been divided against one another, self-destructive and filled with impotent rage. I thought the Movement would change all that. I never dreamed that I would see the day when this rage, masquerading as a pseudo-egalitarian radicalism, would be used within the Movement to strike down sisters singled out… I am referring … to the personal attacks, both overt and insidious, to which women in the Movement who had painfully managed any degree of achievement have been subjected. These attacks take different forms. The most common and pervasive is character assassination: the attempt to undermine and destroy belief in the integrity of the individual under attack… If you are [an achiever] you are immediately labeled a thrill-seeking opportunist, a ruthless mercenary, out to make her fame and fortune.
That’s Anselma Dell’Olio, giving a speech on the state of the women’s movement. In 1970. If things have changed at all, it seems, it’s only insofar as the lingo has penetrated the mainstream. You can’t attack M.I.A. head-on. You can’t say that it’s a problem that she is being heard. But what you can do is attack her reasons for making herself heard; you can take her to task for being selfish, for being ambitious, for not being pure or authentic or poor or unknown or selfless enough: Call her a thrill-seeking opportunist, a ruthless mercenary, out to make her fame and fortune. 

I should be clear: I don’t think that the interviewer was somehow doing this on purpose, trying to silence M.I.A. or shut her down because she consciously perceived her as a political threat. I just think it was inevitable that our cultural discomfort with someone like M.I.A. would eventually surface, in a piece that looked very much like hers. She was the one to write it — and to get her phone number Tweeted, which: BOOOO, bad pool Maya — but it had been a long time coming. It was inevitable. And that’s what makes me sad.

Because no-one, in the wake of this piece, is talking about the Tamils. No-one’s talking about Sri Lanka. No-one’s talking about M.I.A.’s most provocative belief, the one that’s really threatening: The idea that violent oppression can and should be met with violent resistance, which is a complicated and scary proposition, one that people have been evaluating and fighting over for a long-ass time, one that we’re nowhere near figuring out as yet. 
No-one is talking about that; no-one, to be blunt, really cares. 

What we did talk about, instead, was a plate of fucking fries.