August 1, 2010

LiveJournal.

My LiveJournal account (http://arbitral.livejournal.com) was opened in 2002, if I remember correctly.
I had come back from Victoria with a pocket full of fortunes and a heart full of regret.
Being the one voted most likely to weep over a boy than whip his ass, I commenced the drawn out process of wading through my sorrows and drafting up some resolution.

This went on for years.

While some of it was happy, most of it was my way of working through issues.  There were moments of drama and sap and anger and resentment, punctuated by some comments from others who found their way to my page (some not so welcomed, but ultimately appreciated).  People who knew me only through my journal must have thought me suicidal.  But the release and safe place to manage my confusion was not just a luxury, but a necessity if I was to find my peace at that time in my life.

It worked.  I think.

But after a few years, I began to ignore it for I did not really require the release from my life.  In fact, I was immersed in the bliss of it all like never before, and writing the days events just felt ridiculous, as it distracted me from the awesome stuff that was happening, almost constantly.  I started to fall into the much more social and interactive world of Facebook and that suited my pace.  It still does.  But there was a nagging feeling that I "should" be writing more often, and it hung around like a friend from high school who still thinks it's 1995.  It was time to break it off.

But I don't want to stop having a place to write.
I just don't need a place to "work through" issues anymore.
I have found new ways to do that.

So here I am.  My big idea was to cease the withered rendezvous with my LiveJournal and begin anew.  Begin a place that was not so rife with history and not so deadened with past sadness and remorse.  A place for bright memories and enlightened reflections.

Will I keep up the writing?
Who the hell knows.
But I certainly like the idea of knowing if I have the inclination, the wee blog is here.
Like Arbitrary Comfort before him, In the War Between will hang back, look longingly at my wasted time, and ask for my attention.

But this is attention I won't so much mind paying.

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